Following directions: how Al-Anon helped me find my way

Living on a cul-de-sac, I see many cars driving down my street only to turn around and go back. I watch in amusement, wondering how they miss the big yellow sign at the intersection that says: “Dead End.”

This behavior, I think, is a metaphor for my life. How many dead ends have I been down? How many wrong turns have I made? How many signs have I ignored in my insanity, thinking there was light at the end of that tunnel?

Part of my problem was having no direction. I had no idea where I was going, or what I was looking for. I hoped I would recognize it when I found it.

Even if I had had a destination, I didn’t know have known how to get there. I didn’t have a map or a set of instructions telling me where to turn.

I did have this vague notion that I was seeking was some form of spirituality. Oddly, this spirituality did not involve any surrender of my will or control over my life.

When I arrived at Al-Anon, I was lost and tired of taking wrong turns.

Finally I arrived at a dead end. I discovered what I was looking for and what it looked like: spirituality that claimed there was a God—and He was not me. I was given a road map and a set of instructions called the Twelve Steps.

Someone volunteered to be my guide (my Sponsor) to help me read the map. Of course, the first thing I had to learn was that I was not the driver, but the wheel was under control of my Higher Power.

With these three—a Higher Power, the Twelve Steps, and a Sponsor—I am now in good hands.

By Gene D., Alabama
The Forum, March 2009

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